Do Dudes Need Help? (But Don't Say It)
Erloteiel writes, "When I'm in a relationship, I find myself crossing the line between suggesting solutions the guy may not have thought of and becoming his mother. When guys tell us about their problems, do they really want to be "helped?" I really don't try to boss the guy around or tell him what he should do, but I think it comes off that way. Should I just listen attentively and leave it at that?"This is a wonderful questions, and there are a number of answers. None of us want to be babied around, but sometimes we do want your help. Help is the most difficult thing for any one of us to ask for, because it shows vulnerability. When we tell you our problems, more often than not, we are playing the sympathy card. You should be straightforward with the guy and ask him, "Is there anything I can say/do to make this any better?" Listen to him carefully and try to observe his body language. Maybe all he needs is a good massage. Maybe more. Remember, like you, each situation is a different stressor for us. Help out, not by being our mother, but by being our lover and our friend.
As always, Nigel and Ike.
Signed, Sealed and Delivered by Nigel and Ike at 11:00 AM
1 Comments:
Great advice, Nigel. Asking instead of launching right in makes much more sense.
Thanks!
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