One for Kat
Kat asks, "i'm moving to a small community that is a combination of everyone knows everyone and holiday vacationers. oh, and i'll be working as an intern at a local church. so, a buddy of mine thinks i should go by myself and hang out at bars to meet friends. why would he suggest this and how might this not be as bad an idea as i tend to think it is?"Well, Kat. It seems to me this "friend" wants more than you have to offer, or has already been down that road with you. This is a typical guy technique called "sabotage" where we put you in the worse-case scenario just to see you flounder and come running back to us. A female friend of mine recently suggested that women have an easier time at bars than men do, because women are the ones being "picked up." I agree with this to a point, but I think going to a strange bar on your own is a little cockeyed. Plus, if there are vacationers there, you are dealing with a transient population and who knows who will try to pick you up. If you are interning at the church, maybe you can find someone there. I have always found that meeting people at a church or synagogue is always a viable option, because you can surmise they are of good faith. Plus, you only make acquaintances at bars. You never really make friends. Listen to your heart on this one, not some guy friend who doesn't understand what you -- as a woman -- are getting into.
Thanks for visiting your Dude Deciphering Team.
Ike and Nigel.
Signed, Sealed and Delivered by Nigel and Ike at 4:50 PM
3 Comments:
I got another one DUDE
What is the best way for a girl to snag a guy she likes without scaring him off?
Do guys care about girls being financially independant?
Do you believe that book "He's Just Not that Into You"?
Will you marry me?
Do men think about having kids and all that like women do?
i got another one too!
i actually asked this as a response to your she said + he hears...
she says i love you
he hears i love you
how do you know when to actually SAY i love you to a guy? more to the point, when will he hear the words for what they are vs the nails across the chalk board sound ripping thru his head?
personally, i plan on NEVER saying it until it is said to me.... but i was wondering
nice answer. that makes so very much sense. we've had that "why aren't we dating" conversation which may indicate his stance. he says that we'd kill each other. i don't say that i'm not all that super turned on by him. eh.
as for finding a guy in the church - we're very carefully taught to not date them. it's just as awkward as a congregant dating the rabbi. not something to take casually.
thanks for the input. i am going to try and think up more questions for this fantasticly-better than "dear abby" resource.
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