Dude Deciphering Dot Com

Confidence vs. Aggression

We have spoken a lot about this lately, so let's try to put a better face on it. Jackass Jenn writes to us and says, "I've been known to make the first move, but if I make the first move I'm aggressive rather then confident....So what gives? When does confidence turn to aggression? or is this just another easy way out for men?"

If you make the first move, you're not necessarily aggressive. You could and should be "assertive". Bid difference. Aggressive is something that chases a guy away and makes them feel somewhat annoyed or threatened. This means too many cqalls, e-mail, text messages, etc. It makes you look needy and pathetic while you are trying to look 180 degrees to the opposite. Basically, you are like bees on honey. Assertive behavior, however, is when you are confident and show what you want from your man, in a manner that is non-threatening. You can tell us what you need. You can tell us what you want. But, don't barrage us. Don't seem needy. Don't become too emotionally attached to us too quickly. You are then bound to have hurt feelings. You have to massage this thing just right, because there isa fine line here. Just make sure you stay on the assertive (or confident) side, and you'll be fine. We promise this one.

Nigel and Ike.

Signed, Sealed and Delivered by Nigel and Ike at 11:15 AM